In thunder, lightning or in rain?
Uh, no no no no no. This is reality, not the set of Macbeth.
We'll meet when the sun's out, bright and shining, with that little baby from teletubbies laughing in it's middle.
Speaking of witches and cauldrons and spooky things ( that baby-sun-thingy has freaked me out ever since I was a kid ) , not very long ago, there was a supposed prophecy that shook the world. Maybe just vibrated it, but that's not the point.
Apparently, the world is supposed to end on 21 December 2012.
I figured that since that would be tomorrow, what better day to share my unsurprisingly weird thoughts with you guys than today?! In fact, this particular entry is a very exciting one ( there's so much to talk about. MUAHAHAHAHA. ), so, hurry up now, we don't have much time. (See what I did there? :D)
Firstly, when you hear "2012", one of the many things that would come to your mind is the movie of the same name. Now, that is one interesting movie. So unique that it could possibly cross more than one genre of movies. Also, I think it is truly a timeless classic. Even more individualistic than Titanic. Because after all, Titanic was a romantic tragedy. And it still is. However, 2012 is supposed to be a science fiction disaster film. But 15 years down the road when the 3D (probably by then it's be 264D) version comes out, people are gonna say, "Damn, that 2012 must have been one hell of a scary movie back in those days. Now it's one of the best comedies around."
See?!! How cool is it to be able to make a movie, that up to a certain date (in this case, 21/12/12), would be one genre and after that date, totally switch into another genre? Your target audience is practically doubled! $_$ (that's you.)
Then of course the main topic of the movie (and this entry) is the phenomenon itself. There are a thousand different claims, including one that states the date is not a doomsday, but rather just the beginning of a new age, which i feel is a much more sound argument than others that claim WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE.
But no, I'm not saying that the fact that we will all perish one day is illogical, it's just the WAYS through which we're supposed to "perish". People have come up with a zillion theories on how we will die on 21/12/12, and allow me to present some.
Unsound argument #1
The Earth's going to collide with some planet called Nibiru and explode or disintegrate or combust or deform or whatever.
First of all, has anyone seen this Nibiru dude?
According to the people who support this theory, this planetory object is pretty near to our planet. That would mean that we would be able to see it with our naked eyes. Even scientists have said that even Jupiter and Saturn can be seen without the aid of any planet/star-gazing equipment, and those planets shine dimmer than what Nibiru guy would at their distances. So that theory's pretty dumb. And what's even more amusing is that there are groups of people thinking that this collision is due to alien activity on that Nibiru planet.
Somebody's been watching too much E.T.
But at the same time, even if we are going to collide with some alien planet, why do we need to take that as a bad thing? Maybe a miracle could happen and the planets might join. Maybe the aliens want to help us. Maybe the water will flow over to their planet and bring life to it. And so would air, earth, fire and the rest of us. This could very well be the solution for our overpopulation. So whatever happens, always look at the bright side. There's a reason our night vision ain't good.
Unsound argument #2
Earth is gonna get sucked up by some big, huge, ginormous, enormous, large, gigantic (basically you get the gist of it) black hole in the middle of the galaxy.
What, is Earth some kind of strawberry-vanilla lollipop to get sucked by that hungry mouth called a black hole? Do we even know what is in the middle of the galaxy? Apparently our galaxy has a diameter of more than 100,000 light years, and it's growing. And I bet we've not even explored a milliliter of all the milk in the milky way. So that's an absolutely crazy claim. Maybe, people who came up with this were very conceited, and thought of themselves to be the center of the universe (or galaxy, in this case), and thought they will someday suck up everything and dominate the entire galaxy. I guess when he or she finally figures out what the center of the galaxy contains, somebody's gonna be disappointed.
Unsound argument #3
The sun is going to move and bisect the galactic disc, therefore increasing the likelihood of a devastating comet impact on Earth.
Basically, we're gonna die like the dinosaurs. Now, this isn't completely unsound for a doomsday theory, because this bisection thingy has occurred before, and it could happen again. Scientists believe that it will happen every 20 to 25 million years as part of the sun's 250-million-year orbit around the galactic center. Only problem is, the last time that bisection thingy happened was only 3 million years ago.
Somebody failed their Math.
So you wanna know my theory of how the world might possibly end?
Kay.
Those king cobras from the Amazon (or was it India? 0.o) get too bored of their habitat and decide to infiltrate the human civilisation's pipe system. So eventually they slither through miles and miles of pipes and end up in our toilets. As an unsuspecting victim attends nature's call, the reptile strikes, it's deadly venom injected into our behinds. Slowly we all fall prey to these snakes and die.
What a pathetic death that would be.
But nah, that's just a ridiculous theory devised by my ever-so-weird brain. That's really not my idea of how I want to die. I would rather be, number one, thrown into the crater of a volcano, two, get stuck under the leaning tower of Pisa when it collapses or three, just explode of awesomeness. Or simply just depart in sleep. That would be peaceful. :)
My next thought is about the people's reactions. I can go on forever about this one.
Okay. When I first heard about this prophecy, I was eleven or twelve. So I calculated and figured that in 2012, I would only be fourteen. And still in school. I felt... well, I guess you could say plastic-baggish in Katy Perry's language, but it felt awful. You know, the what-is-then-the-purpose-of-my-life?!! kind of awful. And then I figured it's probably just another one of those theories to freak people out and got over it. And then I was just like
Yea. Potterhead forever.
But then, there are the rest, who freak the absolute poop out. I mean, why? Even if we die, we just die. It's not like we get tortured with the cruciatus curse. It's fast. Like Avada Kedavra. So I bet it's not painful or whatever. So nothing to fear :D But I bet there will still be those who ask...
What if I die?
What if I don't die?
What of the aliens eat my brains?
What if I'm stuck in the toilet?
What if I don't get to watch the last twilight movie? (i guess that doesn't matter anymore)
What if the meteor lands on my house?
What if the whole island sinks?
What if zombies eat my brain?
What if there are only four survivors and one of them is a psycho surgeon who wants to make the rest of us into a human centipede?
What if wall-e comes true?
What if we can't reach Mars in time?
What if piranhas eat my brain?
What if I don't finish my sandwich?
What if One Direction doesn't make it?
What if I end up flying around in space forever?
Really,
You're gonna be fine.
We are all gonna be fine.
But I have to admit if something catastrophic really happens and the planet is left in ruins for years, extra terrestrials would eventually set foot on Earth, and I can't help but wonder what they would interpret as life on Earth before the calamity. They would definitely want to talk with our Manager. In fact, even if they visited us before the catastrophe, they would still want to see that Manager.
Everyone will be.
So to round it up, stop worrying about "the end". You really don't need or have to. It's not going to happen tomorrow. We are all going to survive. Even if it does happen, it's probably not as scary as you think of it to be. So now go buy that 2012 DVD so that you can laugh your butt off at it on 22/12/12.
So till the next time we meet,
Saying bye-bye (definitely not for the last time),
A worry-free,
Rotten Cheescake :D
The mad scientist with a phd in zoology :D
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